Nothing Will Be Hidden

Luke 8: 16-18

"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed.

Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed,

and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more;

whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him."

This gives me comfort like nothing else can. I'm clinging to it these days. Reminding myself over and over again that there's nothing for me to figure out. I don't need to shake, I need to pray to stay awake, I need to be willing to surrender, and I need to make room for the light. If I'm rushing around trying to force things to be a certain way or shout at the Truth to come to light - I'm inviting shadows, hiding, and anxiety.

Yesterday, R and I had a conversation that spooked me. Someone is not being fully honest and I don't know who it is. I hate dishonesty. I detest it. It makes my skin crawl and I want to shake it off of me. I don't care if it's about something as stupid as a chocolate bar. I don't want it around me - even a hint of it. And it reminds me of being lied to in heartbreaking ways that I don't want to return to. I've been gullible since I was a child and I don't want to return to the old ways.

So I go back to the gospel, I go back to my teachers and I remind myself to stay with my feelings and stop chasing the details. I can hear Sara B. saying when people lie that's on them. It's not my job to figure it out, my calling is to stay with how I feel, to not get distracted from what my body is telling me. And yesterday I felt gross. I didn't want to be touched and I didn't feel like talking. For a Five on the enneagram having knowledge kept from me feels like torture. Knowledge and the belief that I can see through anything is my false rock. So this is also my teacher, to acknowledge that I can't "see through", but I will be seen through this if I don't block the light. Again the call to live with contradiction - that I may never know the details, but I will know in a big sense deep in my gut what is right for me, what is life giving eventually.

Truth will lead to more truth, Light will lead to more Light, darkness will lead to more darkness. God is in the room, Jesus is shining a light, and the Holy Spirit is whispering so I will quiet myself and listen.

Be still.

What a relief.

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Praying for all of the work places where the Truth needs to come to light, people need to be heard, issues squarely addressed and thankful for all the people that help to make that happen in a non-destructive way, although things may fall apart it doesn't have to be vicious. Thank you Sarah, Shannon, and all the other Organization Development consultants of the world.